Was talking with a friend today about doing work.
We talked about how lots of folks are not avoiding the work contrary to what some may say. They are avoiding doing it badly and hanging in there until they start to do it better.
If you hang in there, you will have a breakthrough and that’s the reward for doing the work.
I have mastered a craft in the last 20 years. If you were to watch me work, you would say something like “He makes it seem so easy!”
Here’s the truth, when I started, I was so scared my throat closed and I could not breathe. I had no choice but to white knuckle my way through it again, again and again. No therapy, meds, drugs or beer… just work.
There is a dark side to avoiding doing something bad until you get good at it. People that avoid will buy programs after programs which is just a way to avoid the work. When the pressure builds or the work is banging on their door so hard they can’t hear themselves talk, they attack or idolize people that are doing work or blame program owners as if they cheated them. Do this long enough, one turns into a professional victim. Victims cheat themselves.
Having played all positions on both sides of the fence I can say with confidence, doing the work is the only thing we are in control of and it’s worth doing a lot of it and consistently over long periods of time.
I recently had someone write me a very nasty letter. It all started with a request that I help (for free) set up a website. This person bought something from me in the past and I knew they never did the work or used the product so I thought if I set this up for them, they will start to do the work.
After spending 4 hours of my time which is worth around one thousand dollars, I set everything up. Now this person is screwed because what they have been avoiding all this time is now ready for them… the work. What triggered the negative response was when I was asked if the website was live. My response was “yes so I’d fill it with content if I were you.”
Not only did I not get a thank you for my time, I was attacked. Because I am very aware of human behavior I knew what was going on. This had nothing to do with me. It had to do with this person and the work. Their work. the work that only they can do.
If you are struggling with work and wish it were easier, it’s common and we all do at some point. Part of the truth is, if it were easy, everyone would do it and the reward would lose its value.
There seems to be something in the air that says if the work is hard and we don’t feel good we must need another workshop, therapy, a coach, we have mommy or daddy issues, etc. This is a crock of bullshit that the self-help industry has sold to keep people in some fake bubble to where the only people thriving are the gurus.
Here’s what I know, there is a part of us that wants to eat, have sex, and hide from life. This part is as old as the ocean. This part does not give a shit if we go bankrupt, become homeless or thrive. We are not going to trick this part into doing work. We must step up and lead and if that primitive part dislikes work, so be it.
I like what the late Jim Rohn said, “Don’t wish things were easy, wish you were better”. We only get better after doing things badly. There is no way around it other than hiring someone else to do the work or stop dreaming about the results because you just don’t want to do the work.
By the way, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to do work but there is if you shame yourself for not doing it or blame someone else for why you can’t.