Picking Sides

Recently I posted a tribute video on Youtube for Dr. Wayne Dyer. He passed away last year. twosides

When I was just a lost young guy with no hope for the future harboring a deep constant feeling of despair, a friend gave me a tape of Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Dr. Wayne Dyer talked about how we have choices in life.

He talked about how I was raised and how it does not matter, I too could turn things around. He gave me hope. It felt like he was speaking to me.

Decades later, I sit here knowing Dr. Wayne Dyer was speaking the truth.

Today, someone posted a comment on my Dr. Wayne Dyer tribute video that was negative.

The person was trying to bait people to his blog where he has a huge rant about how Dr. Wayne Dyer is basically a con artist.

Which leads us to today’s post – “Picking Sides”.

I could see all of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s sides. He was a human being.

As humans we all have the propensity to go into the dark or light. For most of us, we have been on both sides and somewhere in the middle.

Something I really wondered about for years is why do people overly love or overly hate on others?

It’s because they pick a side i feel.

They go all in on hating or all in on loving.

Both ways produce an affect.

When you look at someone like Dr. Wayne Dyer as a “GURU” then no matter what he does negative, you will be blind to it (for the most part). It’s called the “Halo Effect“.

If one only focuses on the negative of another, then they become blind to anything positive that one may be or do.

Both positions lead to a cognitive bias. (Check out the list of cognitive biases here… Fascinating.)

The world is not black or white.

When someone says “You are with me or against me,” run for the hills.

What’s going on here? I think there is a part in us that can’t see someone as bad and good at the same time so we pick a side then hold our ground. This is a mental trap that causes us to be narrow minded and I feel it also stunts our evolution.

Just because one may have did cocaine when they were young and dumb, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t support her goal of providing new shoes for poor kids.

But the part of us that picks sides is not logical.

I too in the past would pick sides out of just not knowing about this phenomenon.

But now, I try to ride down the middle and not get too attached to the good or bad in someone. As a result, I feel no need to beat anyone up or turn another into a hero that can do no wrong.

See the image added to this post? I like to take the position of the woman in the middle holding the two opposite faces up as she smiles in the center.

Denying our dark side causes us to take sides and judge others.

Within me is a part that could easily be just as nasty with my comments online as anyone else. But I don’t do it. Why? Is it because I am better? Hahaha… Not at all. I don’t do it, because it is a “dirty burn”.

Dirty burn?

Yes. The hit of “self righteous significance” I would get (which is shortly lived) feels dirty.

On the other hand, when I post something online that touches someone’s heart and gives them hope, the feeling I get is a clean burn that lasts a long time.

At this point in my life, I have enough experience with doing things from the dark side to know it does not serve me, you, or the greater good.

So do I judge others that don’t feel the way I do? I try my best not to because what is in them is within me. Hating on anyone is hating on me.

From time to time, I do get triggered. This is inevitable as humans. However because I’m so aware of what is really going on, there is no need to act.

We have more than two choices in any situation.



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