Here’s a skill I learned from coaching that will make you a super friend, mother, father, boss, etc.
it’s called “holding Space”.
Imagine a good friend, family member, etc., starts to share something they’re struggling with and you get triggered, think they’re trying to manipulate you, etc. How is this serving the relationship?
Now imagine the same situation but you say, come here, sit down, have some tea, tell me all about it. I may not be able to help but for sure I can listen with empathy and support you during these tough times. This is holding space and in most cases, it’s all that is really needed.
Holding space is also LOVE. Love is acceptance of what is with zero judgment. It’s a learned skill that serves us all at the highest level.
This has to be one of the biggest skills a coach brings to the table because not many are used to anyone holding real space for them.
What people are used to is others getting triggered, running away, trying to be “fixed”, slow-cooked, etc.
trying to fix, run, placate, or anything other than holding space initially is at the core of why relationships suck.
We need people in our lives to grow.
During interacting with people, we’re able to see ourselves and all the areas that need to grow. Without others, we never really see who we really are or who we can really become.
To make things super easy, master holding space for others even if you get triggered. There will always be a time for making suggestions, helping, etc.
We, humans, are super resourceful and capable. We just need to feel safe which allows us to access the resources within. Holding space for others creates that safe feeling.