Ever talk to someone and mention how a mutual friend or family member is doing well?
Then out of nowhere, you or the other person points out something negative about the person you’re talking about?
I’ve done it and I’ve seen others do it.
What’s going on here?
Why is it so hard for us to bathe in someone else’s good fortune?
Why do we have a primal need to chop another down?
I find this phenomenon fascinating and disturbing at the same time.
Maybe this is why all cultures have a saying like, “Hammer the nail down that sticks out.”
Maybe when we hear about someone else’s good fortune it triggers uncomfortable feelings within us because it reminds us how in some way, we are not prospering.
Whatever is going on, the energy that comes from doing this is not worth it. It’s a dirty burn that demands more and it’s highly addictive.
I believe for us to keep evolving, growing and experiencing higher levels of consciousness, we need to transcend such behaviors. If not, we play small, act petty and stay stuck.
For me personally, I go out of my way to avoid doing this. I still feel the urge but have the power to not act on it these days. It’s a practice. Why is because when I do it, it makes me feel bad that I would point out something negative about another in order to build rapport with the person I’m talking to or to feel superior in some way.
We see this all the time with celebrities. Wow, that guy is an amazing seminar leader. He’s really helping lots of people! Yeah but, he used to do cocaine.
One of my friends on Facebook summed it up nicely… “The shadow ego does not like reminders of our perceived inadequacies.” – Debra Faith Warshaw